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Everything looks impossible for the
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October 20th |
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SOLACE FOR CONFUSION |
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Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer
from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the
comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small degree
the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the
bewildered one.
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TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p.
28
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The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed's image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that he assume responsibility for their care. Each morning he would find the unavoidable "byproducts" of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldn't get angry because "that's the nature of puppies." Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. I've often found solace from my personal confusion in Ed's calming concept of God. |
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